There is an old expression that I would share with my corporate clients back in the day at the law firm. In trying to explain how to act like a corporation for legal/tax protection purposes, that in all manners of their business, they had to conduct themselves in a certain way. In other words " If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it is a duck." The other day, I was reminded of this phrase when I was trying to tell my friend that I did not have a problem. That I wasn't a hoarder, perhaps a packrat but there is a difference. I also was arguing that I could go into a Michael's store and spend less than $20 dollars .......... if I wanted to ..... I could, I'm sure. And last but not least, I could drive by a roadside pile of interesting looking junk marked free, without stopping (of course only if I was just the passenger and had no control over the vehicle, but that counts, right?) She just looked at me, shook her head and said, call it what you want, but you are a duck.
So to prove my friend wrong, that I don't need a junking intervention, I have prepared a list of questions for you to share your thoughts on and eagerly await your responses. We will call this a social behavior survey. Let's begin.
1. Do you have boxes/shelves chocked full of fabric that you enjoy just looking at and are waiting for just that perfect sewing project before getting out your scissors?
2. Do you save empty mayonnaise jars to possibly fill with sand and candles for luminaries, or fill with seashells, or to use as a place to showcase a little handcrafted fairy or bird's nest under glass? For that matter, do you save any interesting shaped bottle for some future craft project?
3. Do you own boxes and boxes of plates, all mismatched of course, but still delightfully coordinated, each being a gem culled from a lawnsale trip or from Goodwill? I am talking about enough plates to set a table for 100 guests from dinner to dessert.
4. Do you have trouble sleeping the night before an enormous flea market trip or neighborhood lawn sale extravaganza, eagerly anticipating what treasures await you, just like a child on Christmas morning, up before the crack of dawn to be the first in line?
5. Do you save any scrap of fabric that is at least 6 inches across? (Hey I use them for making my yo-yo quilts, doll clothes, quilted pieces, pockets on aprons .... you get the idea.)
6. Do you pick up a vintage tablecloth covered in holes and stains, (for free or for just pennies) because the 25% of its usable surface is just too fabulous to waste? Or what about that children's book from the early 1900's that is torn, tattered and yellowed, but the few pages that are salvageable and scannable put you in paper heaven?
7. Even though you own 100's of cookbooks, do you still buy that cookbook at the lawnsale with the jacket cover so perfectly matching your collection of Jadite dishes and showcasing recipes from the 1950's of how to cook squirrel, woodchuck and turtle? Those pages will come in handy some day, right? I mean as part of a collage and not on my dinner table.
8. Do you have stacks and stacks of decorating magazines, that you read and re-read? When asked why you don't just get the on-line subscriptions, you argue that you can't curl up in bed with a cup of tea and a laptop. It just isn't the same.
9. While friends find the allure of the mall so appealing, is a perfect day of shopping for you a road trip to all the Goodwill stores within a 25 mile radius of your house? (For me that would be 10 stores). Anybody interested in a road trip with me?
10. Are you a spray paint and glitter addict? Like that's a bad thing?
And for the Bonus Question: Would you climb through a dumpster if spotting a FFFF (fabulous find for free) while wearing a dress and heels? Be honest.
Oh bother ...... It's true. I guess I AM A DUCK!!!!